Merry Christmas!

So the stockings are no longer hung, in fact they are quite empty. And there are no longer any piles of presents under the tree - they have all been torn open with much glee this morning. The cookies are starting to get more crumbly with each passing day, and I am quite tired of preparing large dinners! We've watched "A Christmas Story," assembled lego kingdoms, played John Madden '07 football (some are still playing...), eaten
cinnamon pastry, egg bake, bacon and fruit salad for breakfast. I've read at least 9 stories (including the Christmas story), some more than once, and Kevin has read a few too. The girls (me too!) enjoyed watching "The Little Mermaid" this morning (I have to confess to a bit of shut-eye sometime after Ariel got legs until about the time those nasty eels tipped their rowboat over and delayed her first kiss with Prince Eric--after all, we were up QUITE early this morning with some excited kiddos!).

We've sipped hot cocoa and egg nog, and hot Chai tea (guess which one I had?!), and munched on leftovers at lunch. Olivia has been playing with her new electric keyboard. A lot. And Katy has had great fun with her Animal Rescue Center. The fighting over new toys has been minimal. Oreo has thoroughly enjoyed his cat nip mouse and cat nip sack and endured much affection from Olivia. Ryan continues to wiggle his loose tooth on the bottom, but has finally given up on the notion of it falling out before Christmas. Our new goal? A new tooth by the new year! Hmmm, we'll see. It's not THAT loose yet...

The rain has not stopped since some time last night, and the lake is higher than I've seen it in some time and quite muddy as I look at it from one of the windows in my scrap room. I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner (have I mentioned that I am REALLY tired of preparing elaborate holiday meals?!), and the thought of Chinese food is sounding quite appealing... perhaps I can find some dogs to eat up our leftover roast chicken from last night?

All in all it has been a wonderful, relaxing, intimate Christmas day with our little fivesome. I miss our families, but look forward to seeing everyone in a few more days (some for the 2nd time this month!). And as I sit here, I am hearing strains of yet another showing of "A Christmas Story" from below--you've gotta love TBS! So, Merry Christmas to all of our loved ones. I hope your day has been as special as ours. See you soon!


P.S. Sorry for the rambling--just was trying to capture everything as it was running through my mind.

December 12th

December 12th. It's a day that changed me in so many ways. On the morning of Saturday, December 12th, 1998, I officially began miscarrying Kevin's and my first child. I had been spotting for several days prior, but my OB wasn't willing to call it a miscarriage just yet. But on that morning the spotting became too heavy for me to believe that this baby would survive. The miscarriage was confirmed the following Monday. The grief I was feeling was incomparable, yet I buried that grief in preparation for a holiday Open House that Kevin and I had planned at our home for that evening. I know that may sound cold, that you may wonder how I was able to function to prepare all that food, and get the house ready for nearly 30 guests, but it actually really helped to be so busy. It allowed me to not think about what my body was doing to me. How it was betraying me. And to not dwell on the thoughts of "what if..." What if I'd never get pregnant again? What if this was my punishment for the "choice" I made nearly ten years earlier? So I cooked, and I didn't have to think. It makes me chuckle to think of how I identified with Izzy and her muffins from Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes it is so much easier to focus your energy somewhere else.

Around 8:30, the evening of Saturday, December 12, 1998, I received a phone call from Seattle, WA in the midst of our Open House. When I first saw the number on caller ID, I almost didn't answer the phone. After all, we were having a party, and I would just call Dreama back the next day. But then I decided to talk to her, I wanted her to know about what was going on--that I had gotten pregnant, and that I was having a miscarriage. So I went upstairs to my bedroom, but when I answered the phone it wasn't Dreama on the line. It was Rick. Her boyfriend. And he was saying something about how she had died. I didn't know what he was talking about. I thought he and Dreama had put together some prank to make me feel bad that we hadn't spoken for a few months. But then he got through to me when he started crying. This wasn't a joke. And he detailed the events of her final week, as I sat there dumbfounded, speechless, uncomprehending. How could a vibrant, amazing 28 year old just die so suddenly? How could the person who I had shared so much of my life with during the previous ten years just be gone? How was I ever going to make it through this day?

Obviously, since I am typing this blog entry 8 years (eight YEARS?!?) later, I managed to survive that day through God's grace, and my husband and family's love and support. And I am a stronger person because of it. I have been blessed in so many ways the past eight years--3 healthy, beautiful children, several new close friends and a new best friend. But each year on this day I feel a little twinge as I think about what might have been. I wonder who I would be if things had worked out differently on this day in 1998. And I feel regret that I didn't get to share these years and these blessings with my friend Dreama. I really miss her.

Getting Ready for Christmas

I have had such a good time decorating our home for Christmas this year. It is usually an enjoyable process, but I guess since it's a new house, all of our old stuff somehow feels more new too as I figure out where it should go. We have WAY fewer shrubs at this house than our old one, so I don't have quite as many lights outside...this year! But I'm prepared for when we do more landscaping! My big investment in decor this year was on red berry wreaths to hang on the inside of all our windows on the first floor. It is so cheerful to see all those wreaths--I'm going to be sad to take them down. Who knows, perhaps some will stay up year-round?

For the first time ever, we have room in our family room for a Christmas tree. It is so nice to be able to sit by the light of the tree while watching TV in the evenings. We're actually enjoying the tree so much more than in the past when it has always been in a living room, which tended to be away from our daily activity. Of course, its home in our family room has had a down side--the girls have been much more interested in it and we have lost (and when I say "lost" I mean "broke") 2 of our ornaments so far this year... Ah well, such is life. They weren't ones that I absolutely loved! I also justified the purchase of a large mirror for over our fireplace as a "Christmas decoration" although I am going to keep it up all year long! I got it for $45 at Ross, and love finally having something large and substantial above the fireplace.

So now that the house is decorated, I've moved on to the Christmas card project. I can't believe that it's only December 6th and I already have all my cards made, the letter written, and the pictures taken and developed. Now all I need to do is sign them, address the envelopes and stuff them. Sigh. Still a lot to do, but at least it's the 6th and not the 16th!

Mom and Dad are coming down to visit us on Friday now, and we have some fun things planned for while they're here: we're going to visit Santa (it'll be interesting to see who sits on his lap this year...), build and decorate a gingerbread house, bake cut-out cookies, and mom is going to teach me to make yeast bread. It should be a fun visit for all of us.

And two days after they leave I'm hosting our neighborhood's cookie exchange! We're up to 10 definite participants with three days left to RSVP to me. Given the fact that I only invited 24 other women, I'd say that's a pretty good response. So I'll be dusting off Aunt Melanie's egg nog recipe, whipping up 7 dozen cookies to exchange and a variety of appetizers for us to munch on (changing it up a bit this year). I think Kevin's looking forward to the exchange even more than I am, cookie monster that he is. Imagine his disappointment when he discovers that I've turned into the cookie nazi and am not allowing anyone to bring chocolate chip cookies this year!

And as we prepare our home for the holiday season, I am also working to prepare our hearts for the celebration of our Savior's birth. What an exciting time of year!

Leaves, they are a Fallin'

I've always felt a bit sad that my children haven't been able to really enjoy frolicing in fallen leaves around our homes. The only time Ryan had ever really played in a pile of leaves was at my parents' house, several years ago. I have so many great memories of playing in the leaves as a child. And while mom & dad (mostly dad), have fought "The Battle of the Leaves" with vehemence over the years, I still was excited about the prospect of leaves at our new home on a partially wooded lot.
As you can see, the kids are really enjoying this new outdoor pastime. Ryan was a bit camera shy at first, but once he began playing I was able to snap a few fun, natural shots of him too. I particularly like this one, taken from above him as he tossed the leaves up into the air. I know you can't really see his face, but the effect looks really cool to me, and definitely shows the exuberance he is feeling.
It seems odd to be talking about playing in the fallen leaves in the beginning of December, but they've only just started falling around here in the past week. Although after the winds we had a few nights ago, not many are left in the trees. And while I enjoyed the effort involved in raking up a nice pile for the kids to play in, I believe that we are going to need to invest in some type of leaf-blowing device in the near future, because I got this huge pile from the small area on the one side of our driveway--not even touching the back or front yards. For sure we need to get at least another rake!