Gaining Perspective

So often I get really down on myself about things going on in my life. Stupid things like not keeping up with housework as much as I think I should, or not staying in touch with people, or being tired all the time (I really need to talk to my doctor about this one at my appointment this month...), or not being caught up with scrapbooking, or wasting time online, or yelling at the kids (usually they deserve it, but sometimes not), or all the other myriad things that I do/don't do that make me not measure up to some image I have of what I *should* be.

Anyway, this weekend my longtime friend Danielle came to stay with us. Danielle and I have known each other since we were about 5 years old and took ballet lessons together. She has been living in Raleigh, NC since she went to NCState in 1987. Anyway, the reason she came to stay with us was for a walk-a-thon that was taking place near us to raise money for Battens disease. It is a rare, genetic disease which is fatal for anyone who has it, with most not surviving past their teens. Her 11-year-old son was diagnosed with Battens about 2.5 years ago after they were trying to determine why he was going blind. At the fundraiser, I had the opportunity to meet several other Battens parents--one set had lost their daughter on Christmas day of 2005, another mother had a 12 year old son who was now wheelchair-bound, and the parents who were organizing the fundraiser had just discovered that both of their sons had the disease.

After spending the weekend with Danielle I feel so small for the things that I have let bother me. Here is someone who is struggling with a child whose physical and mental abilities are regressing to the point that he will eventually be completely bedridden, on a feeding tube, with no ability to communicate. He is becoming increasingly violent, without the ability to control himself. He has lost nearly all of his vision. And he's only going to get worse. She has to live with knowing what is coming, and that her son will probably die in the next few years. And she has two other young children who need her time, love and attention. Her husband travels frequently, so she often has to deal with all of this by herself.

And she is handling all of these things with such grace and a sense of humor. She has taken the mind-numbing guilt (she is a carrier for this disease), and anger about what is happening to her child, and directed it towards raising money and awareness about the disease.

I am proud, and humbled, and my perspective has shifted.